complicated

My life is becoming more complicated every day. Now my philosofical problems are fallen apart at the emergency of my more groundfooted problems, like a job, make money, find someone to date and stay together. But something in me is fighting on other front. God, I need to do something different!!!! I will never be happy doing something simple, even if it makes lot of money. I have lost faith in a lot of things, like in the future, in mankind, in sciensce, in God, in love... At the edge of depressing I rethink my life, and see that the only think that separate me from my dreams is myself, my will of trying. This seens like youthfull bullshit, but I understand that is not that easy. that I have great chances of failure. But if I never try it will be even worse! The real probleam here it's to find out something I'm good at. Something I like to do. I like writing, I like stories, I like discussion and philosofy. I have a great feeling of sorrow, oblivion, even angst inside that I should use ... someway...
I think I have a lot of great ideas, like a lot of people out there. I should begin to transform this in realities, not ideas. How? Because I need just one good idea to put my in the field. I feel i can't handle the pressure of this world, the weight of the failure, that is why I not even try... This is my most shamed conclusion.